You know how sometimes if someone points something out in your children, you get a little defensive? The Mama Bear claws come out before your brain kicks in? Well, that happens to me a lot.
Only, this time it happened with my corn.
My sweet, beautiful corn.
For weeks, my husband would look at it and say, "Honey, what's the deal with your corn?" "Nothing, what do you mean what's wrong with my corn?" I would say. "It is normal and healthy and I work darn hard to take care of my corn, I know what I'm doing with my corn."
After all, I am the plant whisperer. The queen of the flowers, the cream of the...Okay, okay, I'll stop. I get a little nutty out here in the middle of nowhere sometimes.
"Oookay, honey." He would say with a sideways look.
As usual, I should listen to what he says.
My beautiful corn acquired a few unwelcome guests. Ear worms and Ants. Evil ear worms and ants. Yes, I call many things evil but trust me, these really are. Had I caught them when my dear husband was pointing out that the corn just did not look right, I probably would have been okay. But no, I am stubborn and have to be right and get way too uppity with my big fat green thumb.
Well, it is turning a lovely shade of black. My thumb, that is.
When I noticed the ear worms and ants, I put mineral oil on the cobs, just on the tips. This kills the worms and ants and prevents them from a re-infestation. Well, the damage was already done. I waited too long and now I have to pull every single corn stalk out of the fertile earth and throw it to the pigs and goats. Why? Because the combination of factors was too much for the stalks. Too many bugs, not checking enough, and too much rain, = moldy stalks and dead corn. At first, I thought it only affected one row. No, all 4 rows of corn need to be pulled. I watered, I fertilized, I weeded and fretted. But I did not check the ears.
Someone come and take my farmer card away.
What a waste of time, money and sweat. Excuse me while I go outside and scream until my lungs hurt.
Okay, I'm back. I feel a little better. I think, since it is too late to start new corn, I will just plant a ton of beans. I like beans better anyway. They grow fast, are wonderful straight out of the garden, are versatile and corn is over-rated anyway.
Who needs corn?