Untouchable

Never underestimate...

The fun in chasing...

Your daughter around with a pitcher of water...

  Dumping it on her head...

 Getting her brothers to  help...

And not letting her get you  back.

Back on Track.

I ran today for the first time in 8 months. I almost forgot how much I love running. It is so much a part of who I am. I have felt so incomplete and off without my normal routine. Without running, I am not as disciplined in other areas, I have low energy and my legs turn to a gelatinous mass.

Seriously though, I do not run to lose weight or even maintain it. I run because it is the closest I can get to flying. It frees my heart, my mind, and my soul. It clears my head, keeps me centered and gives me time to think without hearing "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, MOMMY!" I love hearing that most of the day, but sometimes a gal just needs quiet.

"Well, if it is so important then why haven't you done it in 8 months?" Well, because I hurt my foot doing something really stupid. Also, we moved and my life has been chaotic ever since. I am used to moving. I have been married to an Airman for almost 14 years. This move just encompassed so much more than usual and took me much longer to settle in. Also, my foot hurt for months and I did not want to re-injure it. I am so glad things have settled down enough for me to resume running.

The run itself was slightly entertaining. The first thing I saw when I walked outside to stretch was a dead mouse. The third one this week. On my front porch. It was awesome. I almost posted a picture but did not want to gross you out so early in the morning. My cats are doing their job. When they are not out getting themselves knocked up that is.

The birds were singing and my neighbors horses were neighing. It was a beautiful morning. As I made my way around the property, the scent from the honeysuckle was intoxicating. Not only could I smell it, I could taste it. I inhaled deeply as I ran along taking in every bit of it I could. Until I got to the goat pen. I choked and spat and almost revisited breakfast. Goat smell does NOT have the same intoxicating effect. More like an offensive stench.

"Wha..?? Us, Stink? Never.

Since I live out in the country, there is not really a safe place to run. There are gravel roads with no shoulder that people speed down, so that is not an option. I do have a treadmill but I hate, hate, hate, running on treadmills. I need to have moving scenery around me. I need to hear things and keep my brain stimulated. I would rather poke myself in the eye with a fork than run on a treadmill. So, I run around our property. It does make me feel a bit like a hamster on a wheel but that's okay. I enjoy being outside.

The flowers were in bloom, the birds were out and it smelled heavenly. There was also something crashing through the woods. I just told myself over and over that it was a deer. Not a bobcat stalking and waiting to eat me. Maybe I should start running with a stick. Or a bat. Or pepper spray.

Have a great day.

How to Have a Really, Really, Really, Fun Sunday.......

First, decide that what you want most to accomplish this day is to put the ceiling back up in the schoolroom. (Taken down from a prior plumbing issue months back) Go in the schoolroom and look at the gaping hole to see how the wood will be put back up and notice a mouse skeleton hanging from the insulation. Scream at your husband to come get this gross thing out of your house. Get very panicky and worry that there are more hiding, just waiting to jump out at you.

Next, play Tetris with the tongue and groove pine boards trying to figure out how to piece the ceiling back together. Hold the boards in place on the ceiling until your arms turn to Jell-O. Then use the nail gun to put them up until it jams. Repeatedly. Put exactly 3 boards up until a nail punctures a small copper pipe and water gushes out everywhere. Like a geyser. Straight at your face. Temporarily forget how to turn the main water off while your husband is yelling, "Hurry up and turn the water off, Honey, turn the water off HONEY!!!" Then remember that you have to jump on the four-wheeler and speed to the end of the road to the water meter. By the way, who decided that it makes sense to put the water meter 400 yards from the house???

Now, you must go much faster than you really should on the four wheeler, in your pajamas, worrying that the school room will be flooded by the time you get back. When you get to the water meter, forget which way to turn it. Tell yourself, lefty loosy, righty tighty and then turn it to the left anyway. Speed back to the house and tell your poor husband (who has had his finger plugging the hole this whole time) that you cannot get it to turn off. Make him go turn the water off and assume hole plugging responsibilities.

While he is turning the water off, stand on your tippy toes to reach the hole and plug it the best you can. Which is really not very well. One finger does not do the trick, so press two fingers, one on top of the other on the hole and pray. A lot. Then, and this is key, make sure your arms get very tired and adjust them just the slightest millimeter, ensuring that the water spray will go in your arm sleeve, down your back and in your pants, making you remember what it feels like to wet yourself.

When your husband gets back, be just on the verge of tears and tell him how the water traveled down your backside and then laugh when you get to the soaked bottom part. Then have him take over water leak duties so you can go change.

On the way to your room to change, look at your barely 8-month-old kitten and realize she is getting a little fat. Pet her and feel lots of funny bumps on her tummy. Pick her up and see that she has very large and swollen mammary glands. Inspect her tummy and realize that she is pregnant. Stare in disbelief and wonder if she will be okay.

Drain all the water from your house and spend the next 4 hours fixing the hole in a copper pipe. Then, run outside and grab all your precious plants and bring them to safety while your daughter gets all the animals (2 dogs, 2 cats and 1 extra dog we are watching) because a massive storm is rolling in with 30 mph winds and really foreboding looking clouds.

Spend the remainder of the day in your pajamas and watching out the window praying that your vegetable garden won't be blown to smithereens.

That, my friends, is how you have a fun day.

Primping Chickens.

We had almost 10 inches of rain here the other day.  I'm thankful our land has good drainage.  We did not suffer any major problems as a result of the weather.  Well, with the exception of the chickens.  The strong winds blew the rain into the chickens brooder.  They had about 2 inches of rain in the bottom of their pool.  They were soaked.  As soon as the rain subsided Lexie and I went to clean out the brooder and take care of the chickens. Oh, the stench!  Rain mixed with chicken waste, shavings and food is a deadly, stinky, dry heaving, gut wrenching, putrid mess.  I could not even begin to describe the smell.  I was having such a hard time getting close enough to the congealed mess to effectively clean so I did the only logical thing.  I got the garden hose with the most powerful spray setting I have and power-washed from a safe distance.  One that gave my sensitive gut a reprieve.  

Then, I had to deal with the chickens.  They were completely soaked and I was afraid they would get sick or die.  The only way I could think of to dry them was to use my blow dryer. Oh my goodness.  I can not tell you how ridiculous it felt to blow dry chickens.   I made Lex do it for a little bit.  It made  her feel ridiculous as well.  I took a little joy in that.  

 Worse yet, it took a very long time to blow dry them so I got bored.   My mind wanders when I'm bored.  I get pretty silly.  I start talking to the chickens.  Asking them what kind of "do" they want.  Fluffy or straight?  Mohawk or mullet?   Mullet.  Yes, that would be perfect.  It makes me think of men that look like this.  

Or this.. Then I get really creeped out. 

    Don't you miss the 80's?

Maybe I got the wrong kind of chickens.  Maybe I should have gotten some Silky Bantams.  Then I really could have had fun with their do's.  

 I started wondering if the chickens were getting too hot while being "blown out." That made me think of warm chickens.  Mmmmm. Roasted chicken.  With Rosemary and butter.  There is something very wrong with taking care of your precious chicks and imagining them in your roasting pan at the same time.  Poor chicks.  They have such a demented mother hen.

 

Well, the chicks are all doing well.  None of them are showing signs of illness.  My wonderful husband fixed up their stalls in the barn and they are now in their new home.  They have tons more room to run around, grow, and stay dry.  

The many faces of a Tween.....

For your entertainment.

Because it's raining.

Because it's Wednesday.

Because there is a tornado watch and we are stuck at home. 

Because I am avoiding cleaning.

Because I have a dramatic 11 year old.  Girl.  

What do you do when your nine year old won't stop complaining?

Take pictures of him until he gives up and walks away.

Boy-  "Mom, My foot really itches from the ant bites."

Me-  "Go put afterbite on it.

Boy- "I did."

Boy- "Mooooooom, it really itches."

Mom- "Go put hot water on it."

Boy-  "I did."

Boy- "Why are you taking pictures of meeeeee."

"Why aren't you hellllllping?"

Mom- no response

"Moooooom!"

 (Still no response) 

Boy- "It really, really, really itches."

(Notice the swelling, the redness, the horror of it all?)

"Mom.  Your no help at all."

Boy-"I'm leaving."

Notice his sister in the background?  Just look at that face.  I get that face a lot lately.  She's about to turn twelve.  I think that pretty much sums it up.

Silence is golden

My latest project.

The front of my house was driving me nuts.  More specifically, the lack of grass, the abundance of sand and the overall dead-looking area in front of the stairs.  When something bothers me, I tend to get a little OCD about it.  I really do obsess and work on fixing it until it is done.  Sometimes that means I am working on a project for several hours, or, like in this case, days.  Yes, I do sleep, but only enough to get the energy needed for the next spurt.  I know, I'm a little nutty.  I'm okay with that. 

So, this is what the house looked like before.

Did I say we have sand?  Just look at it.  Dead-looking and empty.  No curb appeal what-so-ever.  Not that we have a curb, or that I want it to be appealing to others.  No. I just want to drive up to my house to a beautiful entry. Sit on my porch and not be irritated by my sandbox yard.  Have something I enjoy looking at.  

So, I remembered that there was a large pile of left over slate from the previous owner. Originally, I thought of making stepping stones out of the slate.  Most of it was broken in random pieces and I thought I would put them in concrete molds and place them around the property.  Well, then I thought I could make a walkway in front of the stairs with them.  So, that is what I did.   

I placed the slate down in different patterns and widths until I came up with one I like.  It reminded me of making a mosaic.  I love working with stained glass and making mosaics so this seemed more like an art project than a landscaping project.  The kids helped until they got bored, which was pretty fast.

I added river rock around the slate and filled in the cracks with, yes, more sand.  But, for a good reason.  The sand holds the slate and rock in place so we don't kick it around everywhere.  I also added two, 2 foot by 50 foot flower beds on either side spanning the length of the path.

I added in some heavily-scented gardenias and some random flowers I can not remember the name of.  They are hardy and do well in sand/clay.  I am also going to add in some rosemary and herbs.  My goal is to have a wonderfully-smelling walkway that is also pleasing to the eye. I am going to plant a few more flowers, then mulch with pine straw.   Also, I am going to till, and re-seed the front yard to try and get some grass growing.  I am thinking of planting alfalfa.  It grows well in the sandy soil and it it really thick and pretty.   

What do you think so far?

I planted some foxgloves right in the middle.  We had a bad storm yesterday, so I had to prop the flower stems back up to help them recover.  I have never seen foxgloves this big.  The stems are almost 3ft tall!

A Spring Walk

It was such a nice day here yesterday.  It rained in the early morning.  Cooling everything off nicely.  We spent the morning making Cinnamon Rolls.  6 tins of gooey & melty goodness.  My blood sugar is still through the roof and the butter is starting to settle in my arteries.

We watched a few movies, then went outside when the rain subsided.  It smelled of fresh rain, honeysuckle and wet dirt.  I love the way rain makes everything smell.  Especially wet dirt.  I have always loved wet dirt smell.  Don't ask me why, I really don't know.  I'm just strange like that.  

The sun came out and warmed everything up pretty fast.  The kids got their slip and slide out because it was 80 degrees outside and they were already on the verge of heat stroke.  These poor kids.  They don't know what is coming.  If they think this is hot, I hate to see how they will act in August.  Maybe that should be poor me.  I can only imagine the whining, sighing, and constant requests for ice cream.  X 3.

 

I left the kids to figure out how to put the slip and slide up and went for a walk around the house.  The first thing I noticed was the berry bushes.  We have just hundreds of berry bushes all over.  What a blessing to have such an abundance of berries, grapes and fruit all over the property. Being in such a natural place makes me feel closer to God, at peace, and just happy.

I have been anticipating berry picking, preserving and baking.  All this time, I thought they were raspberry bushes.  Turns out, they are blackberry bushes.  Which is a wonderful thing because blackberries are just so much better.  Don't argue.  It is just a fact.  Just look at these beautiful berries.

These are just the few ripe ones I found here and there.  99% of the berries are still green.  I had about 4 cups worth.  There are literally hundreds of berries on each bush.  We are going to be inundated with blackberries.  It will be just..heaven.  Lexie made a blackberry cobbler.  She did a wonderful job.  She is going to be a master baker in no time.  

I also found tons and tons of honeysuckle.  

I have heard one can make honeysuckle sorbet, wine and jelly.  I  scoured the Internet and found some yummy sounding recipes I would love to try out.  So, today the kids and I are going honeysuckle picking.  While in Alaska, I made fireweed jelly that was just wonderful.  I hope the honeysuckle jelly turns out just as well.  If you'd like the recipes, let me know.  I'd be happy to forward them to you.

I saw some interesting flowers along the way I would like to identify.

This little nook is located on my very long driveway leading into the property.  There are so many vines and tons of foliage here, it looks like a jungle in some places.  Some people don't like the vines but I think they are beautiful.  

This little guy begged me to take his picture.  He stood still and posed.  He is more cooperative than my children.  Well, one of them anyway.  He shall remain nameless.  

This is the face of......

Sweetness?

Cuteness?

Innocence? 

No.  None of the above.  Not by far.  This is the face that makes my superior temporal artery pulsate and throb like crazy.  You see, this sweet little dwarf is supposed  to be pregnant.  She is supposed to be kidding by now. 

 She.  Has.  Not.  

She looks pregnant.  She has doubled her size.  She is showing many signs.  None the less, there is no kid.  This goat has had me guessing all winter long.  Anticipating goat milk.  Dreaming up recipes for soap and ice cream and lotion and cheese.  

Every day I check on her and still....nothing.  

I think she is just fat.  A fat little gorger of hay.  Who likes to torture me.  

Sigh... Off to find a buck.  

p.s.  Yes, I know gorger is not a word, but I'm okay with that.

Turtles and Toads and Kids.....Oh my!

We live on several acres out in the country.  I love living out here.  It is so quiet, peaceful and beautiful.  What I love the most is that the children are able to explore the natural settings around them.  

Our dog, Sam, is only 4 years old.  Up to our move 6 months ago, Sam spent his whole life in Alaska.  This means he had never seen a turtle or a frog among many other animals before we moved here.  Sam is insanely curious with every new animal he comes across.  

While on my way to the garden the other day, I notice something strange on the ground. Which, by the way, I am getting pretty use to living out here.  I won't even gross you out with what I have found.  Anyway, I see our dog drop this "thing" on the ground.  It looks gross.  It looks like a foot off a large, dead animal.  It looks dried and strange.  Our dog, Sam is excitedly running around it, salivating.  I am already trying to figure out how to dispose of it.  Then I look closer and realize it is an inverted turtle.  With a hole at the end of it's shell.  It looks like it has seen better days. 

 I call the kids to come look.  They immediately argue about what it's name will be and who's room it will sleep in.  I think to myself.....self, why didn't you just put it back in the woods and not say a word?  Um, no.  We are not keeping it.   We put the turtle in a box so we can observe it for a few days.  We got the laptop out so we could identify it and learn about the kinds of turtles that live here.  

While getting everything settled, I look up and see Sam drop something else in the grass.  I told Brandon to go see what the dog had now.  Brandon excitedly yells, "It's another turtle!"  No way.  I asked if he accidentally dropped the other one out of the box.  Surely there are not two turtles in our yard.  Yep.  It's another turtle.  The kids go nuts and try to plan out a rotation on how they will share two turtles.  I tell them 1,000 times we are not keeping the turtles.  Why don't they believe me?  

They spent the next hour reading about turtles and trying to identify the gender of each one. Turns out, we have a boy and a girl.  Brandon theorizes that Sam found them while they were mating.  Pleasant thought, eh? He is probably right though. Poor turtles.  Both turtles were hiding deep in their shell with the carapace/plastron completely closed up.  They speculated that maybe they were dead.  And that we should name one "Stiffy"  My kids are funny.  

Turns out, they were not dead.  They hid in their shell for a long time.  When they finally felt safe enough to poke their head out, the kids spent a while just watching and playing with them. The kids painted dots on their shells to see if the same ones would come back after we released them.  

That same night, Brandon found a warty toad.  Lexy helped him catch it and the toad squirted some kind of liquid all over her hand.  We were not sure if the fluid was the toad's toxic secretions or if it just urinated all over her hand.   It was quite amusing.  It was even more amusing to see her reaction when I told her she was now going to get warts all over her body just like the toad. I know, it is not true.  But it was funny.  I finally told her the truth.  Only because I knew she would go take a bath in Purell.  She is a complete germaphobe.  

The kids had a fun time observing and playing with the turtles and frog.  I love that they have such a hands on experience learning about animals out here.  We have also found lots of Green Anoles, a few shrews and mice.  Lexie made a comment while playing with the turtles that she loves home school.  That just touched my heart.  

I wonder what Sam will bring us next?  I just hope it is not dead and stinky.